Dating a man with children
The word stepmum is loaded with negative connotations, often prefixed by ‘evil’ or ‘wicked’ (thanks for that, Cinderella). James’ boy has a perfectly good mother and, when he’s with us, his dad does all the disciplining, cooking and bottom-wiping. ‘Tom and his ex split amicably, but when he met me it was quickly twisted into a “he left us” story.His ex would tell Jacob that he wasn’t allowed to hold my hand, or she’d send him to our house without a coat in winter.
It was spontaneous and chaotic, and that’s how I liked it.
I was in no hurry to settle down, but it is a luxury to get a preview of the kind of father your partner will be.
Three years ago, baby talk of any kind left me itching to start a conga, just to lighten the mood.
‘I can’t tell you how many times I was reduced to tears by a seven-year-old!
I’d been attracted to Evan because he was responsible, self-assured and not like the other guys I’d dated, who could barely look after themselves.I spent far too long in an unhappy marriage, so when it was over I recognised The One the minute I met her. There’s so much hostility from my embittered ex-wife – it’s like she holds a gun to my head in terms of access to the children. But it’s an ongoing challenge that we’ll only realise the enormity of as time goes on.