"I thought there were differences between men and women and how they felt about relationships.
But overall, I have found that very often they want the same thing," Allen says.
'" When directing her advice on dating rules to a male audience, Mc Clary puts things a little differently.
"Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.
When Mc Clary refers to boundaries, she's not talking just about the physical boundaries that come with sexual territory. "Emotional wholeness is crucial to the decision process of whether or not to have sex," Mc Clary tells Web MD.
"You might find that you don't even like the person," Allen tells Web MD.Having an honest conversation with yourself about sex is just as important as discussing it with your partner, experts say."Every woman and man should know their boundaries before they start dating, and most of us don't," says Cheryl Mc Clary, Ph D, JD, professor of women's health at University of North Carolina-Asheville."Think about your sexual boundaries before you've had that first drink," Mc Clary advises.
Once you've decided what you want out of a date, say experts, you should make it part of your regular dating rules to tell your partner.
"I spoke with a young man in his early to mid-20s who told me that if he didn't have sex on the first or second night, he'd move on to the next person," she recalls.